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A Mid-Summer Golf Quiz

Jim O'Neill

Publication: theday.com

Published July 27. 2012 5:00PM   Updated July 27. 2012 5:23PM

I always like to do a mid-summer quiz, just to make sure my readers (all four of them) are keeping up with the legend and lore that makes golf so important to us. So here we go,

1. Tiger Woods' middle name is
a. Fore right!
b. Tont
c. Lion
d. Major

2. Jack Nicklaus is rooting for Tiger to
a. Tie his record
b. Tie his shoes
c. Break his record
d. Break his arm

3. Which of the following causes you to vomit in your mouth
a. The fees at Pebble Beach
b. Rickie Fowler's wardrobe
c. John Daly's diet
d. Nick Faldo's voice

4. The most depressing thing in golf is
a. A Sunday rainstorm
b. A three-jack on 18 to shoot 80 (or 90)
c. No beer in the clubhouse
d. Johnny Miller

5. The highest score ever recorded on a single hole on the PGA Tour is
a. 16-by Gary McCord at FedEx Classic in 1986
b. 23-by Tommy Armour at the 1927 Shawnee Open
c. 18-by John Daly at Bay Hill in 1998
d. 647-by Donald Linicus on the Whale at Ocean Beach

6. Conversation actually heard on PGA Tour
a. Is Wi going?
b. Na. He stayed home
c. Huh?
d. Did you mean we? Na!

7. In 2010 Golf Professional Ben Berger set a record by playing 612 holes in one day. He is currently
a. Getting in shape to break the record
b. Finally changing his grips
c. Undergoing intensive psychiatric counseling
d. In traction

8. Which are the worst conditions to play in
a. Heavy winds
b. Driving rain
c. Stifling heat
d. Hung over from a drunken stupor

9. For which of the following would you sell either your soul or your first-born?
a. Three rounds at Augusta
b. A driver that goes 300 yards down the pipe
c. A putter that never misses inside five feet
d. Natalie Gulbis

10. Which of the following days in the "Grand Slam of Insensitivity" is the most offensive to your wife when you play?
a. Her birthday
b. Easter Sunday
c. Your anniversary
d. Mother's Day

Let me conclude with a story of a conversation that actually occurred at Great Neck Country Club recently. The affable John Gunderman was playing a match against Dr. Kevin O'Reilly, the highly respected local psychologist, and the good doctor was giving John a shellacking when John said in mock anger, "You know, Kevin. Your golf game is starting to upset me."
Dr. O'Reilly replied in rapid fashion, "John, in my business we call that projection. It's actually YOUR golf game that is starting to upset you."

Which is why John Gunderman is my choice for this week's "Everybody should get to play with him at least once award" Ever self-deprecating and never one to take himself seriously, John makes any round of golf a laugh-filled walk in the park. There are folks that just make you feel better by their very presence. John is one of them.

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