Right, so, this is why the AP wire rules. You see headlines like this: "Brown, girlfriend and bodyguard injured in brawl."

That would be Chris Brown. You know, the same Chris Brown who beat up singer Rihanna? The same guy who got super weird about it on "Good Morning America"? Apparently he's a singer, too.

So this time, young Mr. Brown, according to the AP, was injured "when a dance floor showdown with members of hip-hop star Drake's entourage turned into a bottle-hurling brawl earl Thursday at a nightclub, police said."

Also injured was Brown's bodyguard and his girlfriend model Karrueche Tran. (I had to Google her too.)

A dance floor showdown? Awesome! I hadn't heard we were settling things "House Party"-style again?! All's right with the baggy-panted world!

However, upon closer reading, it would appear that Chris and Co. didn't bust a move to prove their worth to Drake and his crew. The fight merely started on the stupid dance floor. A fight over pretty much nothing — although allegedly they both dated Rihanna.

Booooooooring. I'd much rather a little something like this, complete with David Bowie on-hand. (Just don't throw any bottles at him, Chris. OK?) As the great Lloyd Dobbler once said, you must chill! (P.S. dig baby Jeremy Piven in that scene!)

And then Chris, maybe go hang somewhere far, far away from other people for awhile — especially Rihanna.