Idle Thoughts, while waiting for UConn football, Chiney Ogwumike to win Rookie of the Year and for David Cone to never mention sabermetrics again on YES:

• Mr. Idle, Mr. I to his close friends, has a public service announcement:

He would like to be called Dr. I from now on.

Yes. Dr. I spent his vacation earning an online doctorate from Bullwinkle's alma mater, Wossamotta U.

Dr. I isn't expecting anybody to believe this, of course (outside of New London Board of Education members).

• One more note to the New London Board of Ed:

How's Nick Fischer looking right about now?

• Dr. I just can't wrap his arms around this guy Oswaldo Arcia of the Minnesota Twins.

Arcia.

It just seems as though it should be Garcia.

But no 'G.'

Which got Dr. I thinking: What if the rest of the world went Oswaldo on us and eliminated the letter G entirely?

F. Scott Fitzgerald would have written "The Reat Atsby."

The UConn women would be coached by Eno Auriemma.

Clark Able wouldn't have given a damn in "One With The Wind."

The Jolly Reen Iant would encourage us to eat our vegetables.

• Dr. I cackled last week at the story of how Daniel Nava's "WAR" rating was higher at one point this season than David Ortiz's.

Because as we all know, Nava is a more valuable player.

Real relevant stat there.

• If Ginger Rogers married former Syracuse basketball player Louis Orr and then divorced him for Waterford youth baseball coach Joe Mariani, she would become the age-old Gilligan's Island question.

(Ginger Orr Mariani).

• Note to Brian McCann:

Please. Keep hitting the ball to the short fielder in right center.

Don't use the barren left side of the infield.

• Jameis Winston in a pellet gun incident, too?

Noooooo.

Glad all those Heisman voters ignored the "pursuit of excellence with integrity" part of the award's mission and voted for him anyway.

Dr. I is proud of himself for choosing BC guy Andre Williams.

Andre plays for the Giants now.

Thus making him Andre The Giant.

He only made the New York Times last week because in addition to football, he's writing a memoir and trying to patent an invention.

That's nothing next to Mr. Winston's contributions, apparently.

• How come David Price is the only pitcher with enough testicular fortitude to drill Ortiz?

• Let's see if Dr. I has this straight:

WEEI Radio chooses not to discipline that dope Kirk Minihane after he calls Fox's Erin Andrews "a gutless (expletive)" on the air.

WEEI radio later suspends Mr. Minihane after Fox pulls its advertising.

Who says ethics aren't for sale?

• FYI: UConn football's home opener: Brigham Young. (Aug. 29. Be there).

Opening line: BYU a 17-point favorite.

• Dr. I has a suspicion the Sun will make the playoffs.

• Tough call at UConn quarterback:

Dr. I's guy Casey Cochran?

Highly intellectual Xavier High grad Tim Boyle?

Most experienced Chandler Whitmer?

Stay tuned.

• Oddity during the local high school football passing league this summer:

Music blaring during the games over the public address system.

Beggin ya.

No mas.

This is the opinion of Day sports columnist Mike DiMauro.