Progress, most of us would agree, is a good thing. It's cross-wired in our DNA that we as Thinking Persons evolve, spin-off new ideas, dream of and implement concepts that, to our parents or grandparents, would have seemed the exotic but improbable kookery of one of those Ray Bradbury or H.G. Wells nuts.

If this was any other Feeble Codger writing this, now is the point when the wise but amused columnist — how's it going down there in Hell, Andy Rooney? — would list post-millennial developments and seasoned commentary about such things as Tweeting, Facebook, selfies, girl- and boy scouts with full-sleeve tattoos, auto-tune vocals, and biologically-engineered pathogens, created after-hours in high school classrooms, that are wildly infectious with symptomatic plum-colored skin eruptions and fevers that crest 107 degrees — at which time our brains sizzle and pop like corn.

Not me, though. I heartily embrace this modern world! For example, have you heard of Goat Yoga? It's increasingly popular and a real thing and it's pretty much what it sounds like — an outdoor class in which goats wander around and amongst the (human) yoga practitioners as they twist into their Shavasana or Bhujangasana or Vrikshasana poses. My wife has permanently moved to one of these instillations! They had her at "goat"!

What happens is, in mid-yoga, the free-range goats might curl up next to you for a snuggle or clamber atop your back — their little hooves acting as a bonus massage whilst they trudge tenderly up and down your spine — or perhaps they pee-pee near your head.

Hopefully, the yoga goats don't suffer from Caseous Lymphadenitis, which is a blossoming-abscess malady these creatures are susceptible to — and though it's not presently transferable to humans, see the above reference to e'er-evolving biologically-engineered pathogens. Just a thought. But despite having brought that up, let me point out that I'd be open to a session of Goat Yoga, during which I could frolic with them, get my therapy/exercise, and also visualize options for similar, animal-themed activities:

1. White-Water Snake-Rafting — in which participants negotiate the notorious Colorado River "Lava Falls" run in canoes roiling with cobras (different than evangelical snake-handling, which is just weird)

2. Wolf-Lifting — circuit training in which exerciser lifts wolves instead of weights

3. Cubnapping — nothing says calorie-melting like the high-speed act of darting in and out of a mama bear's den, stealing her cubs one at a time. Coat yourself in ground salmon for an extra level of intensity.

4. Old Fashioned Spa Treatment — Recline on a sofa with incense, scented candles, classical music and a soothing facial moisturizer — plus your head is swathed in bloodletting leeches to prevent illness 

5. Sigfried and Roy's Tiger Feast — the same workout that partially paralyzed Roy Horn when his fave big cat coleslawed him